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Krystle and Alexis (Linda Evans and Joan Collins) square off in their first Dynasty scuffle. The two would unleash their claws on each other many a time throughout the series run. (image courtesy of ABC-TV)

Twenty years ago this month, all the bitching, scheming and backstabbing came to a close as one of television’s campiest, so-bad-it’s-good series concluded its nine-season run.

Dynasty, ABC’s answer to CBS’s wildly successful prime-time soap Dallas, centered on oil mogul Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) and his business empire and family. The first season of the series- which ran from 1981-1989- featured Blake marrying his former secretary, the innocent and kind Krystle Jennings (Linda Evans).

But it was not until the start of season two that the Aaron Spelling-created soap’s most notorious character debuted: Blake’s ex-wife and mother of his children, uber-bitch Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan (hard to believe she married just four times).

Other characters and plotlines aside, it was Alexis (impeccably portrayed by Joan Collins) who informed the series and its drama, and who often is credited for turning Dynasty into a ratings contender. Cracking the top 20 in its second season, Dynastyshot to the top five in season three, and climbed to the No. 1 spot in its fifth season. The series eventually lost major ratings steam, plunging to No. 24 in its seventh season and faring even worse when it relocated from its comfy Wednesday night timeslot to Thursdays, where any non-NBC series struggled to lure viewers.

Nonetheless, Dynasty left its indelible mark on television and popular culture, premiering just as the 1980’s greed era took shape. Definer of the times and serving audiences a weekly one-hour platter of pure entertainment, Dynasty covered the cultural bases. Television historians probably would agree that “Who Shot J.R.?” was Dallas’ defining pop culture moment- after all, that cliffhanger remains one of the most-watched episodes in TV history. But, Dynasty, while enjoying its share of memorable moments and cliffhangers (remember the glitzy costumes? The Moldavian massacre? The Rock Hudson AIDS scare?), forever will be associated, much to Collins’ chagrin, with the deliciously entertaining Alexis-Krystle catfights.

Envious of Krystle and Blake’s marriage, Alexis spent much of her time sparring with her ex-husband’s wife, either verbally or physically- sometimes both. The ladies’ first major altercation occurred after Krystle discovered that Alexis had been out shooting the day Krystle suffered a miscarriage (while horseback riding, a gunshot frightened Krystle’s horse, causing her to fall). The two did serious damage to Alexis’ cottage- feathers all over the place, broken vases, knocked-over furniture- and emerging the victor, Krystle taunted her rival that if she wanted a rematch, “just whistle… if you can…”

The second catfight brought the series even more notoriety, and perhaps, one of its most defining, everlasting moments. Out by the lily pond, Alexis tossed her usual brand of sharp-tongued insults at Krystle (how Krystle never legally divorced from her first husband Mark Jennings, how she had miscarried and then did not get to adopt her niece Sammy Jo’s child). Pushing all the right buttons, Alexis went a tad too far, leading Krystle to lunge at her nemesis, resulting in the two falling into the pond and duking it out before Blake’s arrival on the scene brought the battle to a halt. “Like a couple of female mud wrestlers,” he observed- pretty accurate descriptive of the dueling divas.

On other occasions, following Alexis’ latest rounds of cruel actions and words, Krystle did not hesitate to retaliate with force (a slap here, hurling of a mudpack there, dumping a plate of food onto the lap, tossing Alexis and her bouquet of flowers out of the mansion, forcing her rival down a hill and landing in a mud puddle, engaging in a tug of war that resulted in Alexis getting a faceful of mud, etc. etc.).

None of Alexis’ other rivalries/catfights (battling cousin Sable Colby or Blake’s half-sister Dominique Deveraux, to name a couple) nor other female matchups (Sammy Jo took on sisters Amanda and Fallon Carrington on separate occasions) quite matched the intensity and brava of the Alexis-Krystle In fact, two years after Dynasty left the airwaves, a two-part movie (fittingly titled Dynasty: The Reunion) aired, and to everyone’s delight, Alexis and Krystle yet again got physical, this time in a fashion studio. The ladies used everything from mannequin arms and wardrobe accessories to express their disgust of each other in their final televised showdown.

After a second (albeit non-scripted) reunion- Catfights & Caviar- aired on CBS in 2006 (during which Evans and Collins got along splendidly), our favorite onscreen rivals participated in a heated off-screen war of words the following year, when they reunited in a touring play, “Legends.” Portraying a pair of feuding former Hollywood stars who have the opportunity to stage a comeback as long as they can work together, the ladies had to get physical as if it were another Dynasty reunion. Once the James Kirkwood production ended its 30-week tour, a Collins rep claimed Evans tackled the role all too well, leaving Collins with a “sprained knee, a scar on her hand and almost choked to death.” An Evans rep denied that his client caused such physical distress to Collins.

As much as they attempt to make nice, it’s good to know that dueling divas never lose their flair for an old fashioned brawl. And that wherein lies the Dynasty phenomenon: Anytime we see two women engaged in a heated argument, that escalates into slapping each other, pulling each other’s hair and getting down and dirty in a no-holds-barred catfight, remember that it’s Krystle and Alexis who set the standard. Other programs or films may have staged catfights pre-Dynasty, but none did it better, or with bigger shoulder pads, more overdone make-up and mega-sprayed hair.

Alright, so catfights may not be the most classy, ladylike activity for women to engage in, but it’s a helluva lot of fun to watch. Here’s to 20 more years (at least) of slaps, punches, hairpulls, literal mudslinging, pillow fights and pondwrestling…

Performing in his homestate of Michigan last week, Eminem is on the road to recovery following years of drug addiction. News of his latest album’s smash sales should help him in the recovery process. (picture courtesy of AP/Gary Malerba) 

Eminem experienced a Relapse of sorts on the Billboard 200, as his latest album easily debuted atop the chart.

The Michigan native’s latest is his fifth consecutive No. 1 debut; in fact, his only album to miss the top spot was 1999’s The Slim Shady LP, which peaked in the runner-up position.

While Relapse’s first-week sales of 608,000 units do not measure up to Eminem’s last three studio albums (1.76 million for 2000’s The Marshall Mathers LP, 1.32 million for 2002’s The Eminem Show and 711,000 for 2004’s Encore-the latter numbers from an abbreviated sales week), it’s a major triumph in the declining album sales market. The acclaimed rapper now lays claim to the biggest sales week of the year, and the highest sales since AC/DC sold 784,000 of its Wal-Mart exclusive title back in October.

Preceding the release of Relapsewere two tracks that reached the upper region of Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart: the No. 1 “Crack a Bottle” (with Dr. Dre and 50 Cent) and the No. 9 “We Made You.” The latter’s video continues Eminem’s celebrity-bashing tradition, drawing ire from Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly for its “crude” portrayal of Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Last week’s album chart-topper, Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown, slipped one spot to No. 2 with 166,000, for a two-week cume of 381,000 units. Besides Eminem, other albums debuting inside the top 10 are Kenny Chesney’s Greatest Hits II  (No. 3, 89,400); Method Man/Redman’s Blackout (No. 4, 63,165); comedian Dane Cook’s Isolated Incident(No. 5, 60,550); Busta Rhymes’ Back on My B.S. (No. 6, 59,080); Tori Amos’ Abnormally Attracted to Sin (No. 9, 41,035); and Kate Voegele’s A Fine Mess (No. 10, 37,440).

American Idol’sfinale boosted sales of several titles last week. Season seven winner David Cook saw a 111 percent sales increase for his debut album, jumping to No. 29 on sales of 16,720; the title has sold 1.15 million to date. Veteran hitmaker Lionel Richie- who performed on the finale- saw his Just Go album enter at No. 24, with 19,270 copies.

Digital albums from Idol winner Kris Allen and runner-up Adam Lambert debuted at Nos. 50 and 33, respectively- Allen’s Season 8 Favorite Performances sold 10,215, while Lambert’s scanned 15,720 (Allen fared better on the digital tracks chart, though, with his coronation song “No Boundaries” leading the charge of Idol tracks, selling 134,000 last week).

Other Idol-boosted acts on the Billboard 200 include Keith Urban (No. 27, up 19 percent), Jason Mraz (No. 30, up 22 percent) and Rod Stewart’s Definitive compilation (re-entering at No. 52, up a whopping 398 percent).

Meanwhile, on the Hot 100, Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” holds at No. 1 for an eighth week. A performance on Idol’sfinale helped the track stay above the 200,000-unit mark in sales for as long as it’s been No. 1 on the Hot 100. Further down, the Peas’ “Imma Be” debuts at No. 50.

Kris Allen’s aforementioned “No Boundaries” enters the Hot 100 at No. 11, while four of his other tracks debut: ”Heartless’ (No. 16); “Ain’t No Sunshine” (No. 37); “Apologize” (No. 66); and “Falling Slowly” (No. 94). Adam Lambert enjoys four entires: “Mad World” (No. 19); “A Change is Gonan Come” (No. 56); “No Boundaries” (No. 72); and “One” (No. 82). The two finalists land an additional six tracks on Billboard’s 25-position Bubbling Under chart, led by Lambert’s “Cryin’” (No. 102) and “Slow Ride” (a duet with Idolfourth-place finisher Allison Iraheta, No. 105).

Last year following the Idol finale, coronation track “The Time of My Life” entered at No. 3 and was one of 11 David Cook entries on the Hot 100 (though fans did not have the option of buying a Cook digital album). Runner-up David Archuleta scored three debuts, led by his cover of John Lennon’s “Imagine” (No. 36).

Also benefiting from Idol’s finale is Keith Urban’s “Kiss a Girl,” which jumps 51-20, giving the country star his highest peak yet;  David Cook’s “Permanent,” which checks in at No. 24, while his “Come Back to Me” re-enters at No. 84; Jason Mraz’s eons-old “I’m Yours,” which rebounds 33-27; and Carrie Underwood’s Idol farewell theme, “Home Sweet Home,” which returns at No. 79.

Next week’s albums and singles chart should see no turnover at the top, with Eminem and the Peas likely to reign again. Idol sales beneficiaries should take a tumble, as the one-week finale benefit eases. It was good while it lasted…

Ben Stiller (in a scene with Alain Chabat) yet again delivered a robust weekend at the box office with his Night at the Museum sequel, Battle of the Smithsonian. The family adventure grossed $70 million over the Memorial Day weekend. (image courtesy of AP/Twentieth Century Fox)

The Terminator failed to flex its box office muscles large enough to overtake Ben Stiller’s Night at the Museum sequel at U.S. and Canadian theaters this weekend.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian grossed $54.17 million at 4,096 theaters over the weekend ($70.05 million factoring in Memorial Day), compared to Terminator Salvation’s $42.6 million ($51.9 million for four days). Since its opening last Thursday, Salvation has grossed $65.3 million.

Both sequels fared well in comparison to their predecesssors’ opening weekends. Smithsonian whi improved markedly over the first Night, which grossed $30.4 million upon opening in December 2006. The first Arnold Schwarzenegger-less Terminator film, Salvation- starring Christian Bale- opened in line with 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, which pulled in $44.04 million in its premiere weekend. However, T3’s opening gross translates to roughly $52.4 million in today’s dollars.

Both franchise films will be hard-pressed to match the success of prior films- the first Museum concluded its run with $250.86 million, while T3 finished with $150.37 million ($179 million, adjusted for inflation). Furthermore, in 2009 dollars, 1991’s Terminator 2 has grossed $349.35 million.

Finishing third over the weekend, Star Trek continued its sizzling success. Through Memorial Day, the franchise reboot has grossed $191 million, and, with Tuesday’s box office results, will dethrone Monsters Vs. Aliens as the year’s top-grossing film. Monsters spent a ninth week inside the top 10, and has earned $193.7 million through Monday’s close of business.

Last week’s number one film- Angels & Demons- dropped to fourth place, and has collected $87.5 million to date. The Tom Hanks vehicle likely will not match the $217.5 million earned by 2006’s The Da Vinci Code.

Another franchise release, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, claimed sixth place over the long weekend, bringing its cume to $165.16 million. While Wolverine has outgrossed 2000’s X Men in hard dollars, when adjusting for inflation, the original film’s gross rises to $209.5 million. 2003’s X2: X-Men United earned $214.95 million ($255.94 adjusted), while 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand remains the top grosser, with $234.36 million ($256.9 million adjusted).

Aside from the top two films, the only other major release was the Wayans Brothers-written Dance Flick, which scored a mild fifth-place debut, with $12.62 million in its first four days. The Brothers’ nephew, Damien, directed the parody, which also co-stars several members of the Wayans clan.

Next weekend, the Disney/Pixar animated feature Up will try to topple Battle of the Smithsonian, while horror flick Drag Me to Hell tries to- ahem- scare up some boffo business. As long as Battle dips by at least 50 percent, Up should have little trouble towering above its competition, leaving all other films looking UP from below the No. 1 slot. Talk about living UP to one’s title…

If Kara DioGuardi had not made a splash on American Idol prior to the season finale, she sure has now. Sharing the stage with Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell, DioGuardi left a memorable impression upon viewers, who now wait to see if the fourth judge will return next season.  (photo courtesy of wire services)

To some viewers, the highlight of American Idol’s finale was not Kris Allen’s coronation, but rather judge Kara DioGuardi’s bikini-flash.

DioGuardi and Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell famously sparred during the Idol season eight auditions, when the bikini-clad Darrell waltzed into the audition and proceeded to tell DioGuardi that her singing was no better than hers. On Idol’s finale, the two sang bits of Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love” together (Darrell later said she stopped singing at one point because the show turned off her mic), but DioGuardi upped the stakes when she ripped her dress open and revealed her own bikini-clad body. No enhancements, no spray tan- just her own nicely toned self.

Quickly covering up, DioGuardi humbly said that Darrell had the better body, with Darrell later saying that DioGuardi made herself look stupid. No matter, as DioGuardi’s strip-flash arguably goes down as her most memorable moment on Idol all season. And the question becomes: Was it enough to convince FOX to bring her back for season nine?

Prior to DioGuardi’s addition, Idol had functioned just fine with its three-judge panel of Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. The show tried adding a fourth judge before (New York radio’s Angie Martinez bowed out, as she was uncomfortable shattering hopeful’s dreams). Plus, there have been plenty of guest judges through the years. The core three functioned so strongly, though, that there was no need for a permanent fourth member of the panel.

However, Idol producers decided to pump up the panel this past season, which was just one of several tinkerings to the Idol format. Upon announcing a fourth judge, FOX insisted that it was not grooming DioGuardi to replace Abdul once her contract expires- and despite Abdul’s desire to do many other things besides Idol, we hope that she stays on as long as possible, as the show would not function the same without her over-praising, let-down-easy, bafflingly odd, off-on-tangent remarks.

On paper, DioGuardi seemed a qualified addition- as a professional songwriter, record producer and A&R executive, she knows a thing or three about the music business (she and Abdul lived together at one point and ended up co-writing Kylie Minogue’s international hit, “Spinning Around”). Once season eight commenced, we noticed Kara’s comments often were insightful, even on the mark. Throughout the season, she’s functioned as a mix of her panel peers- while she probably shares the most in common with Randy (middle-ground reactions), we sometimes see a little Paula emerge (over-the-top gushing or gentler reactions), as well as Simon (sharp criticisms- audience members even booed her, which she welcomed).

However, DioGuardi has found her own niche by claiming ownership on the word “artistry” and sometimes messing up the facts: Telling Danny Gokey he should have performed early Aerosmith rather than “Dream On”(that song is early Aerosmith); referring to Studio 54 as 57; telling Matt Giraud during disco night that he was like that guy from Saturday Night Live (rather than Saturday Night Fever) and declaring she had six words following an Adam Lambert performance (”One of the best performances of the night!”- that’s eight words).

DioGuardi has a sense of humor about her blunders, though, telling the New York Daily News, “It’s OK. I’ll poke fun at myself and I’ll look like an idiot on that front. But I want to make sure that what I’m telling them makes sense and it has meaning.”

While Cowell recently told Ellen DeGeneres that all four judges will be back next season, FOX has made no formal announcement. DioGuardi says FOX asked her to come on board for just one season, but that she would love to return. Viewers, on the other hand, may not be so cordial: a recent TVGuide.com readers poll reveals that the majority of viewers (59 percent) she should not come back, with the major complaint being that there are too many judges.

Even Abdul is not too fond of having a fourth judge on the panel, saying that the format does not work, and that it takes enough time as it is for three judges to voice their opinions. (DioGuardi told Access Hollywood that she was disappointed and hurt that Abdul didn’t discuss her opinion directly with her.).

Time and judges’ rambling (notably the gals) became such an issue in early April that the show ran over by eight minutes, resulting in DVRs cutting off Lambert’s much-heralded performance of “Mad World.” The following week, judges had to critique in pairs, so the show would not overextend itself again.

FOX undoubtedly knew that adding a fourth judge would be a challenge, in terms of time-crunch matters and viewer adjustment. Whether DioGuardi’s “striptease” antics raised her buzzworthiness and popularity enough to secure a spot on the judges’ panel come season nine, time will reveal.

Why not bring her back, FOX? With Paula actually improving coherency this season (while still uttering some rather off-the-wall stuff), we’ve come to depend on Kara’s factual flubs for entertainment value. And who knew she had that body?

Music knowledge, vocal ability and a good bikini body? Take it all in, Bikini Girl, take it all in…

Betty’s woes seem to be never-ending- come fall, she’ll be struggling for viewers on Friday nights. (picture courtesy of ABC-TV) 

Betty Suarez screwed up big time- again.

ABC’s Ugly Betty concluded its third season Thursday night with Betty ruining her relationship with boyfriend Matt Hartley. After Matt saw her kiss first love Henry, Betty proceeded to make matters a lot worse by not owning up to Matt about it, even though he gave her opportunity after opportunity to do so.

(Betty should not have too much trouble getting over the disappointment- remember, she kicked off season three with the intent of focusing on her job and not men, before succumbing again to Cupid’s pesky arrow).

Meanwhile, following the death of features editor Penny, Betty and Marc competed for the job, only to join together and force MODE co-owners/co-editors-in-chief Daniel and Wilhelmina to choose between them (which they eventually did with the ol’ flip of a coin). Betty ended up with the promotion, and after Matt dumped her, discovered that Matt was her new boss at fashion magazine MODE.

In her bid to become MODE Queen, Wilhelmina found herself beaten yet again. Threatening to tell rich man Cal Hartley that Claire Meade years back terminated her pregnancy (and Hartley’s child), Wilhelmina hoped to blackmail Claire into resigning from MODE. However, Claire wound up telling Hartley herself; Hartley didn’t seem to care, much to Wil’s chagrin.

Taking drastic measures to get back in full MODE, Wilhelmina (whose prior claim to the Meade fortune- the baby she thought was hers and late husband Bradford Meade’s- turned out to be surrogate mom Christina’s child), enlists a hitman-like fellow to find Connor Owens. Task? Get back the money he stole from MODE, using whatever means possible. Wil then walked into another room, only to be stunned to see a surprising visitor (could it be Connor?).

In the finale’s saddest turn of events, Daniel accepts MODE’S award for Best Cover Issue at the MOMAs , and sees his cancer-stricken wife, Molly, out in the audience- or so he thinks. When Betty tells him Molly is not there, he realizes he saw her spirit, races home and discovers that she has passed on. Daniel texts Betty, who rushes to his side and comforts him.

Is that turn of events foreshadowing that perhaps Daniel and Betty may become a romantic item after all? In other Betty incarnations (including the original Colombian telenovela Betty la fea), Betty and her boss become a couple, and even marry. Eric Mabius, who portrays Daniel, has voiced his objections to a Daniel-Betty romance, suggesting that would be the show’s jump-the-shark moment.

Whatever  journey ABC has in store for Betty and Daniel, the series will not have it any easier attracting viewers next season when it moves to Friday nights at 9 p.m. Viewership declined roughly 16 percent from last season (from an average of 9.4 million viewers to fewer than 8 million), and chances of ratings increasing come the new season look bleak. However, maybe some old fans will return if the show if it truly returns to its core focus on Betty’s climb to the top of the fashion journalism world, with a little less over-the-top Meade family chaos. Odder happenings have transpired, after all.

Spread the word, fans- make Friday nights must-see viewing in the fall, if you want Betty to continue long enough to see- among other things- those dang braces removed. That way, Less-Ugly Betty even may have a shot at life beyond a fourth season.

Conway, Ark. native Kris Allen defeated San Diego’s Adam Lambert to win the 2008 American Idol crown. His first single- as well as Lambert’s- is the Idol finalists track, “No Boundaries,” co-written by Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. (image courtesy of 19 Entertainment/PR Newswire)

Anyone whose jaw dropped upon Ryan Seacrest’s announcement of the new American Idol really should not have experienced such disbelief.

Twenty-three-year-old Kris Allen- the rather reserved, boy-next-door-type- emerged as the winner, topping the eyeliner-wearing, flamboyant glam-rocker-in-the-making Adam Lambert. Who do you think most Idol viewers would vote for?

It’s rather impressive that Lambert, 27, made it as far as he did. Not that he was undeserving- he arguably was the brightest, most original, exciting and talented contestant of the season. But, he also was unspokenly gay, competing on a show called AMERICAN Idol. America undoubtedly has made strides toward tolerance of homosexuality, but we’re not quite there in terms of widespread acceptance; we’re still a long way from the point where it’s a non-issue. So for someone like Lambert- who unabashedly is who he is without actually saying the words- to secure a spot in the Idol finals, it’s a triumph.

Then again, the far less adventurous and exciting Clay Aiken also finished as an Idol runner-up. Back in 2003, even though a lot of people and media speculated on his sexual orientation, Aiken stood firmly in the closet, going so far as to deny the rumors vehemently, even for years after his Idol run. So, taking that into consideration, yes, it is a triumph of sorts for Lambert and the gay community, in the ongoing struggle for acceptance.

Most would agree that Lambert was the one to beat- aside from weekly performances that left judges and viewers in awe, Lambert also landed smack on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. The magazine didn’t have Allen on its cover, now did it?

Allen appeared more surprised by his victory than anybody- he even humbly declared that Adam should have taken it. In reality, he should extend his thanks to Danny Gokey’s supporters, as once their hero placed third and left the competition, the majority of his votes likely went to Allen. And as much as Allen did not want his Christian affiliation to factor into voting, it very well may have- at least with Christian voters.

Nonetheless, Lambert did not need to be crowned the new American Idol to know that he has quite a future ahead of him. After all, non-Idol winners have had splashy commercial careers- witness season five’s Chris Daughtry. His band’s debut album has sold more than 4 million copies in the USA, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Meanwhile, season five winner Taylor Hicks’ debut sold less than 700,000, while runner-up Katherine McPhee’s debut mustered less than 400,000. (Season five perhaps produced the least exciting and mundane top two in Idol history, but that’s besides the point).

Combine Lambert’s commercial potential with his artistry and fearlessness, and he’s got some terrific possibilities ahead. Viewers got a further taste on last night’s finale by seeing Lambert perform with make-up rock icons Kiss and- aptly- Queen. Lambert more than held his own with the legendary rockers, and, seriously- would there a more fitting, not to mention worthy, successor to Freddie Mercury than Adam Lambert?

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen show unity prior to Wednesday evening’s American Idol finale. Both finalists should enjoy a successful post-Idolcareer. (picture courtesy of AP/Chris Pizzello)

None of this mucho Lambert commentary takes anything away from Allen, who put on numerous memorable performances throughout the season, including a recent standout rendition of Kanye West’s “Heartless.” Like Lambert, he’s not afraid to use artistic license for his musical interpretations, and that- in addition to his calm, soothing vocals and guitar-/piano-playing- should bode well for his future.

Plus, it’s a heckuva lot more satisfying to see him as the American Idolcompared to Danny Gokey- again, nothing against the vocally talented Mr. Gokey, but for most of the season, all he did was provide very good karaoke, and that should not make an Idol (see season three runner-up Diana DeGarmo as another example, as well as the aforementioned season five finalists).

Other Idol finale highlights included the return of “Bikini Girl” Katrina Darrell, who famously sparred with Kara DioGuardi during the Idol auditions. Darrell- snagging the Best Attitude award- expectantly appeared onstage in a bikini, as well as a couple of updated accessories. Seacrest commented, “I was going to ask what’s new, but I think I know,” referring to her newly ample bosom. Darrell proceeded to sing Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love,” and- surprise!- DioGuardi emerged from behind the curtain and the two engaged in a vocal “showdown” (Durrell had sung the song during auditions, and told DioGuardi that her vocals were no better than hers, which infuriated both DioGuardi and Paula Abdul). DioGuardi concluded the performance by briefly ripping open her dress to reveal her own bikini- though she acknowledged that Durrell possessed the better (albeit enhanced) body.

Also returning were Nick Mitchell- AKA Norman Gentle- and Tatiana Del Toro, who yet again made spectacles of themselves. Mitchell “won” Outstanding Male, tire off his pants and paraded around in boxer shorts while singing Dreamgirls’ “And I Am Telling You (I Am Not Going).” Meanwhile, Del Toro took Outstanding Female honors, and, much to Simon Cowell’s chagrin, belted “Saving All My Love For You” for an uptempth time, as security tried to remove her from the stage.

Aside from Kiss and Queen, other acts performing during the two-hour finale included Black Eyed Peas, Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Keith Urban, Rod Stewart, 2008’s IdolDavid Cook and 80’s hitmakers Cyndi Lauper and Lionel Richie. And, naturally, season eight’s Idol 13 gathered for their usual brand of breathtaking musicianship (sarcasm fully intended).

And that’s a wrap for American Idol 2009. Fans have to wait seven months until the FOX singing competition starts all over again. Luckily, Dancing With the Stars fans don’t have nearly as long a wait- season nine commences in a mere four month’s time. Even better for entertainment fans, this blog has no hiatus… which is the best news of all, right?

The new champions of ABC’s Dancing With the Starsnaturally are all smiles- Olympian Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas edged out favorites Gilles Marini and CherylBurke to take the season eight trophy. (picture courtesy of AP/Jason DeCrow) 

French heartthrob Gilles Marini came THIS close to snagging the mirrorball for Dancing With the Stars’ eighth season.

In what could be viewed as an upset, Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and partner Mark Ballas instead waltzed off with the gold (well, actually glittery silver) mirrorball trophy, in the series’ tightest competition ever. Host Tom Bergeron revealed that less than 1 percent separated Johnson/Ballas from runners-up Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke.

Can’t say that either Johnson or Marini didn’t bring their all to the last nights of competition: On Monday night, they tied with a 58 out fo 60 for their two dances, and then last night, they each scored a perfect 30 for their dance of choice (Cha-Cha-Cha for Johnson, Argentine Tango for Marini). Even third-place finishers Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani scored a 30 for their Salsa (after earning a total of 56 the prior night). 

With a tie in judges’ scores, viewer votes made up the difference in the razor-thin race. Had judges’ scores from the entire competition played a factor, Marini more than likely would have taken the title, as he clearly fared the best overall throughout the season. For 16 dances, Marini had an average judges’ score of 28.1, while Johnson averaged a 26.9. Rycroft was right behind, at 26.8.

Burke probably is a little disappointed that she and Marini did not win, as it would have made her the professional with the most victories. At two wins, she’s in a three-way tie with Julianne Hough and Ballas. However, Burke (who’s competed in every season barring the first) has competed in four finals, easily more than any of the other pro. Tied with two finals a piece are Dovolani, Hough, Ballas, Kym Johnson, Edyta Sliwinska and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Furthermore, Burke has earned more perfect 30s (11) than any other professional; runner-up is Hough (nine), followed by Chmerkovskiy (eight).

Emerging as the winner of the professional dancers competition was Anna Demidova, who now has a guaranteed spot as a pro for season nine. She beat out Mayo Alenan, who she danced with during the first two rounds of the competition.

Seventeen-year-old Johnson’s win marks the third time an Olympian has won the mirrorball- short track speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno won season four (paired with Hough) and figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi triumphed in season five (partnered with Ballas). Incidentally, Ohno showed up at one of Johnson’s rehearsals during the past week, and reminded her that every Olympian who had competed on the show ended up winning the trophy; that may have given Johnson the push she needed to win the competition.

With Dancing crowning its champion, that leaves American Idol’s coronation,which airs tonight. Finalists Adam Lambert and Kris Allen competed one last time Turesday night on the FOX series, with Lambert probably faring better. The guys performed three songs: their favorite from the season, a song chosen by producer Simon Fuller and the eventual winner’s first single (titled “No Boundaries,” co-written by Kara DioGuardi).

In round one, Lambert went with “Mad World,” which drew rave reviews the first time around, and did again- though Simon Cowell found it to be too theatrical this time out. He awarded round one to Allen, who chose “Ain’t No Sunshine,” and left Cowell admitting his initial skepticism about Allen being in the finals- but, following that performance, he was convinced America made the right choice.

Round two easily went to Lambert, who brought Sam Cooke’s “A Change is Gonna Come” into another stratosphere. Allen and a few other guitarists sat and strummed to Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On,” which was fine enough, but lacking excitement for such a grand event.

Unsurprisingly, the last round was the least memorable. “No Boundaries” is a typical Idol-winner track, with plenty of mountains and dreams, and all it really did was showcase who has the bigger voice- which was never in doubt, Mr. Lambert. The song probably went beyond Allen’s vocal comfort zone, though he still managed an OK rendition of the rather mediocre (at best) track. DioGuardi hoped that people would vote on Allen’s season and not that last song.

Idol comes to its season eight conclusion tonight at 9 p.m. EST, and host Ryan Seacrest already warned DVD users that the show will go long, so set your programmers accordingly.

Who will it be? The flamboyant glam rocker or the reserved, Christian cutie? If Danny Gokey votes went to Allen, don’t be surprised to see Lambert finish as runner-up. No matter the result, though- the dude is going to be an unabashed star.

Shawn Johnson landed at the top of the leaderboard for the second time this season on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars.

Granted, it was the finals round, with just three couples remaining in contention. And, Johnson tied perennial leader Gilles Marini. But, hey, gotta toot the horn whenever one can enroute to dancing gold.

The three couples emerged ready to win in the Paso Doble Faceoff, which had Marini and partner Cheryl Burke taking top honors with a perfect 30. Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani were right behind with a 29, followed by Johnson and Mark Ballas (28).

However, during the Freestlye round, Johnson and Ballas hit their stride, earning a perfect 30 for their creative, energetic, youthful and precise routine. Performing to “Flashdance (What a Feeling),” Marini and Burke scored a 28, leaving Carrie Ann Inaba puzzled with their song choice. While she and Bruno Tonioli were looking for more actual dancing from Marini, Len Goodman awarded the couple a perfect score.

Rycroft and Dovolani earned a 27 for their Freestyle, losing points for disjointed choreography (noted by Inaba) and presenting a more cheerleader-like dance (Goodman would have liked to see more variety). Tonioli said the twosome’s dance was not as perfect as he would have liked to see in the finals.

Going into Tuesday night’s finale, Johnson/Ballas and Marini/Burke lead with 58 out of 60, while Rycroft/Dovolani are just two points behind with 56. The three couples dance one more time for the judges, with that total added to the other two scores and viewer votes.

Since the eighth season commenced 10 weeks ago, Marini emerged as a favorite, and in total, has found himself at the top of the leaderboard on seven occasions (out of 10). Will he make it eight times with tomorrow night’s final dance? Even better, will he and Burke win the coveted mirrorball trophy once viwers have their say?

Start placing those bets, folks.

T.R. Knight supposedly wants off Grey’s Anatomy, but will his wishes be granted? (picture courtesy of ABC-TV)

Grey’s Anatomy’s fifth-season finale did little to answer those burning questions fans have had for weeks now: What will happen to Drs. Izzie Stevens and George O’Malley?

Both characters- who have been with the show since its March 2005 premiere- have their lives hanging in the balance. O’Malley ended up as a John Doe case after pushing a woman out of harm’s way from an oncoming bus, and getting run over by the bus himself. It was not until show’s end that Meredith Grey realized the bloodied and unrecognizable John Doe was O’Malley, after he used his fingers to write his 007 nickname on her hand.

Meanwhile, despite the various risks involved and after much back-and-forth discussion with the Seattle Grace staff, Izzie chose to have surgery to remove the second tumor in her brain. Dr. Derek Shepherd successfully removed the tumor, but Izzie was left with a terrible case of short-term memory. When Alex (now her husband) vented all of his frustration with her cancer situation, she started remembering pertinent information for lengthier periods of time, sans the sticky note reminders that Alex had posted for her.

However, both George and Izzie flatlined moments later, and the staff attempted to resuscitate Izzie, DNR order be damned. Then, in a heavenly setting, Izzie stepped onto an elevator and when it opened, George- dressed in Army gear- greets her.

The actors who portray Izzie and George- Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight- have had a rather tumultuous year with the show. Knight- who was on the receiving end of a homophobic comment made by former Grey’s star Isaiah Washington in 2006, which resulted in Washington’s dismissal- reportedly asked to be released from his contract late last year. His character has had little to no story during the fifth season- that is, until, the season finale that aired Thursday; George informed Miranda Bailey that he was leaving Seattle Grace to become an army medic in Iraq. Naturally, that news left Bailey and George’s ex-wife Callie upset, and they concocted a scheme to get him to change his mind’ problem was, he never even scrubbed in that day (moments later, viewers learned John Doe was George).

Katherine Heigl has said she will return to Grey’s Anatomyif there’s need for her, so now it’s up to show creator Shonda Rhimes to ponder Izzie’s future. (picture courtesy of ABC-TV)

Heigl famously dissed the Grey’swriting team last year, when she publicly said the show had not written her strong material during the fourth season, and in turn, withdrew her name from Emmy consideration. The year prior, she had won the Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Emmy. Rumors ran rampant that a brain tumor would kill Izzie, and that Heigl wants to concentrate on her film career, though last month, she said she would return to Grey’s next season if the show wanted her.

Series creator Shonda Rimes reportedly knos the fates of Drs. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens and George “007″ O’Malley- at least that’s what she conveyed to EntertainmentWeekly.com’s Michael Ausiello. However, she would not divulge whether she informed Heigl and Knight, nor would she confirm whether Knight actually asked to be released from his contract.

Leaving viewers to speculate, the finale could be interpreted in a handful of ways- both could have passed on; Izzie could have passed on, hence her getting on the elevator, leaving George still fighting for his life; George already could have passed on, and Izzie’s step into the next life would begin once she steps off the elevator. Better yet, both still are fighting for their lives, and their out-of-body experiences/meeting will go no further, and lead them both back to their physical being.

While having both Izzie and George remain on the series is ideal (as long as George has a continuing storyline), it’s more than likely that at least one of them will not return next season. But, there are other Grey’s stories developing: At least Merdedith and Derek will begin season six having exhanged wedding vows- albeit, not at City Hall as they had planned (after surrendering their wedding say to Alex and Izzie), but in a Post-It-Note ceremony at the hopsital. That Meredith really isn’t all for tradition, is she?

Then there’s Bailey, whose husband threatened to divorce her if she takes on the pediatrics fellowship. She plans to turn down the fellowship, but also to divorce her ultimatum-giving hubby.

Whatever the outcomes, all the drama worked ratings magic, even though viewership was down roughly 18% from last season’s finale. With roughly 16.5 million viewers, the two-hour finale was ABC’s largest Thursday night average audience since the Grey’s fifth-season premiere back in September.

Now, if only most of Grey’s loyal viewers would give the struggling Ugly Betty a whirl an hour prior…

The UK’s second-most successful female act- Kylie Minogue, of course- will bring a handful of shows to North America this fall. (picture courtesy of AP/Charles Sykes) 

Australian pop sensation Kylie Minogue recently announced her first-ever North American tour, to commence at the end of September.

Minogue, whose campy style and ever-evolving image (think Madonna Light, sans the cultural provocations and artistry) has made her one of the world’s most successful female pop stars over the last two decades, currently plans nine shows in the USA and Canada.

Yes, that was no typo- just nine shows- and most of those will take place in smaller, intimate venues, such as New York’s Hammerstein Ballroom, Pearl at The Palms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas and The Congress Theater in Chicago. With her ardent gay following alone, she should be able to sell out at least one show at New York’s Madison Square Garden- come on, handlers, where’s the confidence? Minogue will play a couple of larger arenas, though, like Los Angeles’ Hollywood Bowl and Toronto’s Air Canada Centre.

If that were the extent of, say, a European or Australian tour, that would be pretty stingy for someone of Minogue’s stature. After all, she has scored 30 top 10 hits in the UK (and eight No. 1 hits), not to mention 10 Australian chart-toppers (only The Beatles, Elvis Presley and Madonna have landed more).

But in the United States, Minogue has been far less of a phenomenon. Here, people know her as The Loco-Motion Girl, or the one who sings that “la la la” song (referring to her 2001 worldwide smash “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”). Her 1988 debut album  Kylie reached No. 53 on the Billboard 200 and spawned a No. 3 Hot 100 hit with her cover of “The Loco-Motion.” A couple of follow-up singles cracking the top 40 (”I Should Be So Lucky” and “It’s No Secret”), but her 1990 sophomore effort tanked in the USA, leaving her American label (Geffen) to drop her from its roster. With no U.S. record deal, she vanished from the major U.S. charts for 13 years, during which time she explored a more “indie” side of her musical self, before, in 2000, returning to the carefree pop that made her a star.

While Minogue continued to rack up international hits leading up the new decade, with just two Billboard chart appearances during 1991-2001 (both on the Dance/Club-Play listing), she remained a virtual unknown in America.

That changed, however, in late 2001, when “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” reached the top 10, prompting her Fever album (released by Capitol Records) to clock in at No. 3 on the Billboard 200 and eventually sell more than 1 million copies. She landed a fifth top 40 hit thereafter with “Love at First Sight,” but then things dried up yet again, with her 2004 release Body Language just missing the top 40 (No. 42) and failing to yield a significant hit (”Slow” peaked at a lackluster No. 91 on the Hot 100). In the wake of Fever’s success, a few compilations saw U.S. release, though none charted on the Billboard 200.

Minogue made sure to pump up the U.S. promotion with the release of her tenth album, 2008’s X. It was tough to miss her during the album’s release week- she appeared on NBC’s Today, CBS’ The Late Late Show, ABC’s Dancing With the Stars and Ellen DeGeneres’ syndicated talk show. The commendable promo failed to result in sales, though- X (which was released in the USA months after its initial release everywhere else) peaked at a miserable No. 139, selling just 6,000 units in its debut week. 

Incidentally, such limited U.S. success has not bothered Minogue, though, as she says she can go about her business while in America without the hassle of being recognized. Plus, as opposed to other parts of the world, she remains unsure where she fits into the American music scene- a good point, as her brand of dance-pop these days is not exactly burning up the airwaves.

While maintaining U.S. success has been challenging, Minogue- who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005- has steadily scored hits in other territories, and sells out tours in Australia, England and other European markets. With her nine scheduled fall shows (at press time), Minogue may be dipping her toes into the North American touring market, in hopes that, one day, we won’t be able to get her out of her collective heads.