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The ladies of Wisteria Lane (from left to right: Kim Delany, Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Nicollette Sheridan), seen here at the 60th Annual Primetime Emmys, return tonight for more mischief and mayhem. (picture courtesy of Reuters/Lucy Nicholson)

Five years have flashed before viewers’ eyes on ABC’s Desperate Housewives, which returns tonight for a fifth season.

May’s season finale of the sudsy series teased these key developments: Gabrielle Solis is a non-glamorous mom of two; Lynette and Tom Scavo’s prime-for-juvenile-delinquency sons were causing havoc as teens; Bree still is Mrs. Orson Hodge, and she’s a big-time businesswoman; some other guy has replaced Mike Delfino as the main in Susan Mayer’s life; and Edie Britt… well, there still was no sign of her, after she had left Wisteria Lane five years prior. But, fear not, she’s back.

The flash-forward concept- also utilized by ABC’s Lost last season- leaves us wondering what events led to the present’s set of circumstances. (well, those of us who have avoided online spoilers, that is)

Gabi was (is?) a self-consumed, materialistic woman- how the devil did she come to have two kids? Yeah, we saw her pregnant once before, and the sadness she endured upon miscarrying. But she reverted back to form shortly thereafter, and hadn’t shown much interest in taking a crack at pregnancy anytime soon. Whether she made the decision on her own, or it was embezzling, now-blind ex-husband Carlos who prodded her- we’ll soon find out- that is, if Carlos even is the kids’ daddy.

Now, the Scavo offspring turning delinquents? No one saw that coming- the boys have been nothing but well-behaved through the series’ run (for those who don’t watch the series- add a big NOT to the end of that sentence). But, in truth, they looked like angels compared to Tom’s daughter. Kayla (who was sent to live with her grandparents at the end of last season). Nonetheless. there has been plenty of foreshadowing that the boys wouldn’t exactly end up showing exemplary conduct as teens.

Mom Lynette battled- and survived- cancer and a tornado prior to the time jump- and it doesn’t look like she’s going to have an easy life anytime soon.

Bree always has been the prim and proper, obsessive-compulsive-prone housewife. We never saw any real indication that she was interested in being anything but- so what led her to enter the workforce? It’s one thing to go out and find non-household employment, but it looks like Bree has become a successful, high-powered player in whatever industry she’s conquered. And, obviously, Orson’s running over Mike wasn’t enough to keep Bree away from the guy. And what of Bree’s children? Not sure about daughter Danielle, but one-time troubled gay son Andrew now is working at his mom’s side.

Now, something must have happened to Mike Delfino, who appeared to be the love of Susan’s life? Could it be that- as much of a hot mess that Susan is- she got fed up with his sordid history? There was the accidental murder, the lie about his father, the pill-popping. But before the five-year leap, Susan had just given birth to their son, Maynard, and all seemed well. Supposedly, we’ll find out what happened to Mike tonight.

Edie- who took off after failing to win Carlos’ love- returns with a new hubby in tow, per the previews. What’s most shocking is that she found a man of her own, after years of unabashedly chasing after Wisteria Lane leftovers. When Edie says she has a husband, Susan comically says, “Whose?”

Meanwhile, we don’t yet know anything about Katherine Mayfair’s actions in the last five years, other than the fact that her daughter Dylan now is engaged. Katherine spent much of last season trying to keep secret the fact that the biological daughter everyone on Wisteria Lane knew as Dylan had died right before Katherine moved away. She also had her abusive and threatening ex-husband Wayne to worry about- in the season finale, Wayne held Katherine hostage, leading Katherine to shoot (and kill) him. Gabi, Lynette, Susan and Bree concocted a self-defense story that kept Katherine out of prison.

Not enough drama for ya? You can count on the ladies of Wisteria Lane- with all their bitchiness, cattiness and deliciousness- to supply more than their status quo as another season commences.

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